total destruction, my perfection.

Friday, December 22, 2006

My Christmas Wishlist

1) _____ (thats to keep you guys guessing)

2) i want everything to be exactly the same.

3) no surprises. (i've decided that i dont like surprises)

4) i want that letter to never arrive in my mailbox.

5) i want to turn back time. (yeah right, who the hell doesnt. no no, but just for afew days. 2
days would be fine.)

yupp.
thats all i can think of for now.
dont worry.
dont think that just cause you
dont see any material items on my list
it means that i'm suddenly becoming all
holy and un materialistic.
i'm still the most materialistic person on earth.
that was just my "unmaterialistic list"
that list could go on
forever.
haha.

whatever sara,
whatever.

oh.
i read a phrase on a shirt.
and it made me laugh.
although you've all probably seen it
and i'm just slow.

"friends are forever,
boys are whatever."

hahahhahahhha.
dont you think its funny.
well.
i like it.
and i think its true.

and i'm going to stick to it as
my christmas phrase for the season.
whatever thats supposed to mean.

as you can tell.
i'm kinda in a whatever mood.

ughh.

the most awful thing
just happened to me yesterday.
wait.
its past 12.
means...
2 days ago.

sighh.
i supposed it was just
waiting to happen.
and i deserve it.
hahahaha.
but i sure wish it didnt happen.
duhh.

its just killing my christmas mood.
what a fun sucker.
its like waiting for the axe to fall.
pheesh.

anyways.
lets get emo for awhile.
since i have nothing to do
and a emo song is playing now.
lets see...

i'm not going to forgive you for that.
not ever.
and i'll remember.
even as i pretend to forget.
to you,
it was just an insignificant moment.
a thoughtless word.
but to me.
it was a stab right through the heart.
and considering all the times i was there
for you.
when she couldnt be.
you are such a lousy friend.
the worst ever.

but sadly,
the joke is on me.
cause i'd sooner die
then give you up as a friend.

my love/hate delimma.

i relish it.

okayy.
i'm done.
now everyone must think i'm
slightly off.
which i guess i am.
but the whole package is
alright what.
hahhahah.
its the sanest people that you
have to watch out for.

okayyy.
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

spoke at : 9:02 AM

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

i wanted to hold you
like this,
forever.
but you let go first.

maybe everything has changed now.
maybe i mean nothing to you.
maybe its my fault.
maybe its yours.

i'm so sick of all the maybes.
aren't you?

what is it about you,
that makes me want to throw something.

you speak in riddles.
and i'm not even sure if you are talking about me.
thats almost the worst part.
almost.

you know whats the worst part?

that i want to reach out to you
but i'm not sure if you
still want me there.
i'm so sure you'll push me away.
and if you do,
i'd probably never get over the rejection.

thats how you make me feel.
uneasy
and left hanging.

thanks a bunch.

i'm great at running away from
difficult situations.
in fact,
i excell in feigning ignorance.

dont turn yourself into a
difficult situation.
dont ever.

because i dont want to
run away from you,
when all i really want to do
is walk towards you.

do you understand now?
probably not.
you'll probably never see read this.
and we'll just grow further apart.

well.
i could live with us being strangers.
but that doesnt mean i want to.

do you?

spoke at : 5:56 AM

Thursday, December 14, 2006

work work work.
stinks stinks stinks.

oh.
stop asking me why my
uniform is so small.
it shrank by like 2 inches when i washed it.
yes.
so now i look like some
cock and a half.
yay.

anyways.
let me tell you something funny.
hahahaha.
yesterday,
this woman was like looking through
the wagon of jeans,
and i was like anxiously hovering over her.
too afraid that she'll like
dig up all the jeans
that i've spent my entire youth
folding.
and then while
i was like staring into space,
trying to block out
the fucking christmas songs
that have been repeating for like the
99th time.
the woman turn to me and asked.

"these jeans are low cut right?"
"yupp, the square cuts are are pretty low."
"okayy, do they go below the liver?"
"huh?? sorry?"

and i was like
what the fuck?!!!
what the hell is below the liver?
who the hell asks if the jeans are worn below
the liver?!!
she's nuts la!

and then of course after that,
i was quite scared of her already.
you cant blame me if i
dont really feel like
serving a nutcase.
like what the hell.
in the end,
after she tried like 10 pairs,
seriously,
she didnt buy shit.
and she just walked out of the shop
like really depressed.
shaking her head and
muttering stuff like
"oh no..."
"nothing suits me la."
"haii"
"haiya.. really cannot la."

haha.
and i was thinking
like duh.
no body sells jeans below
the liver.
go make you own pair.

but actually, i'm not too sure.
i dont even know where the liver is.
ahaha.

anyhow.
so now you get an inkling
of the nutcases i meet during work.
its not as though i dont have
enough psycho friends.
haha
whoops.

yes.
stopping here.
its my off day today.
ands i'm not gonna blow it
in front of the com.
byeeeeeeeee.

two can play at your childish games.
i'm sick of always being the one.
call me when you're mature.

spoke at : 8:08 PM