okay!

here i am.
its been my third day in tan tock seng hospital.
up to this stage.
its all been pretty OVERWHELMING.

and just so you know,
my attachment didnt start out smoothly at all.
really.
i like got into trouble like on my first day.

seriously.
you see, i couldnt find time during the hols to get my
hepititis B immunization jab.
and so when they asked if there was anyone
who hadnt gotten their jab, i really wanted to
just go ahead and lie.
i mean, its not like they'll know.
but then, one of the lecturers' had to go on and on about
integrity and being honest and stuff.
and i couldnt bear it,
so i raised my hand.
haha.
and thats when shit started to hit the fan.

there was this big hullaballu.
and questions like
"of all people, with your mum in the healthcare profession, i expected you to understand the importance of getting a jab."

and they would ask me for a reason why i didnt get it.

and as expected, their reply to my reason would be

"Thats no excuse."

haha.
like why did i even bother.

anyways.
there was this big fuss about it.
and they said they couldnt take the risk
of me being around the patient and getting hep b and all.
and so they like sent me home
like an hour early to get the jab.
and i had to write some letter
declaring that i wouldnt hold the hospital and school
responsible for my actions.

it really wasnt worth the trouble .
i should have just gotten the bloody jab.
damn.

and if you think that was not bad enough.
they next day,
even though i got up early and all to go to work,
i only realised that i left my name tag at home
when i was at the mrt statiion
and i had to
ran all the way home to get it.
which resulted in me reaching the ward at like
7 on the dot.
when technically, we were supposed to reach at like 6 plus
to be in time for the morning reports.

and i got caught by my lecturer for like being
not late, but " just on time".
(funny huh?)

and she even caught me for my
dark purple scrunchie.
which i had thought was black in the dark.
and she really gave it to me.

omg.
it was like a really really bad start.
i really cant imagine it being any worse than this already.
so much for trying to maintain a pristine reputation
in school, only to have soiled beyond recognition
by my second day.
i can just shoot myself.


and on the second day.
i was already wipeing poop off the floor.
like really.
but suprisingly, i didnt really mind that.
i mean, its sort of in the job description.

know what.
i think i change my mind about marrying a doctor.
sure, they look cool and the whole
lifesaving thing is hot.
but.....
i observed a maunal bladder washout today.
performed by a doctor.
and i just hated the way he
performed the whole procedure.

it was such a painful process to begin with.
and the patient was really groaning in pain.
but the doctor didnt even bother to speak to the patient.
much less reassure him.
in fact,
he just made the situation worse
when he kept going 'tsk'
when things didnt go smoothly.
and the poor patient was in his 70's? 80's?

it was just a really helpless situation.
you know?
like you're just a nobody.
and theres nothing you can do for the patient
who's in pain other than
hold his hand
and try to comfort him in a language that he doesnt even understand.
you feel really useless.
and its quite a horrible feeling.

i think at one point of the procedure.
i was glaring at the doctor.
i think i just couldnt help it.

and, cause i'm like really new and all.
theres not much i know in th ward.
like where everything is kept
and all the names of the equipment.
and when the doctor ordered me to get it.
i was like huh?

and he got so frustrated with the wait
that he just got it himself.
and let me tell you.
that has to be one of the worse feelings in the world.

and i get it all the time
from doctors, to nurses.

i suppose i can take comfort from the fact that i'm not
the only fish,
floundering in the open ocean.
but its just been really discouraging at times.
i even get corrected by the hospital amahs.
ya.
the cleaners.

there happens to be a food chain hierachy in the ward.
and i'm at the bottom if it.

but i'm not giving up though.
theres no way.
tomorrow,
poop can land on my face for all i care.
but i'm not giving up.
i' m gonna stick to the nurses like glue.
and suck everything i can learn from them.
even if they are nasty to me.


yupp.
thats all.
its been a really long post,
but i just need to unload, you know?

i saw an old man get discharged today.
holding his small bundle of things
happily hobbling towards the wrong exit.
haha.
he was in my cubicle, and under my care for the past 2 days.
and before he left,
he waved and smiled at me.
i swear.
that made my day.

yay.
today is my last day of work.
god.
i'm really counting down the hours.
like what in the world possessed me into thinking that
little bit of extra cash could make up
for all the fun and laughter that
my friends can give me.

never again.

went for the bbq last night.
arghhh.
i'm really tempted to vow never to touch alcohol again.
but i know better than to say that.
but really...
its going to be a long time before i'm touching
that vile stuff again.
its like 4 plus in the afternoon,
and i'm still feeling the effects of last night's alcohol binge.
and if its bad now,
this morning was the pits.
my stomach was like rolling.
and when i woke up at like 8 to get ready for work,
i did everything wrong.
haha.
seriously.

yes.
i didnt look properly
and i used the toothbrush that the cleaner uses to like
scrubb the sink to brush my teeth,
and only halfway through brushing did i realise that
the bristles were like particular uncomfortable.
like omg
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
there were like black patches on the friggin toothbrush.
i darent even think about what the hell
was growing on it.
we wont be surprised if i get admited into the hospital
next week for like some oral fungal infection la.
wtf.


and i wore my shirt inside out, and facing the wrong way.
luckily, i wasnt too high to not be vain..
and i realised my mistake when i went to preen in front of the mirror.

and i've discovered that when you're hungover,
even the mild, trembly movement of the mrt can cause your
stomach to churn in protest.

i think people thought i was some weird attitude freak,
cause i kept sighing
(pretty loudly too i think, since i was listening to music so i couldnt hear how loud i was sighing)
and there was this permament tortured look,
etched on my face.

its alot better now.
the qeasiness is wearing off.
and now, i can actually look at the computer screen without
feel the urge to retch.
haha.
drinking is a vice.
and it doesnt even taste good.
why oh why.


anyways.
i'm gonna stop here.
i'm feeling sick again.

byeeeeeeeeeee.




Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up.

know what.
i think i've turned into the morning entertainment
for all the shopkeepers in the morning.
its like,
when i arrive to open the shop.
some of them start to stand outside their shops to watch me
push up the metal shutters
and struggle with the heavy poles.
seriously.
and its like they live to see the myrid of expressions that
i think flash across my face.
its like,
if you know me,
than you should know that the sound of shop shutters opening
and closing give me the jitters.
i i have no idea why, maybe its cause i'm claustrophobic?
and that i was stuck in takashimaya toys department when it closed, and all the lights were off?

i have no idea.
but for me, having to open the shop
every morning is lke facing my worst nightmare.

and its annoying.
all the uncles
will start standing outside their shops.
and the minute i start pushing up the shutters,
they start nudging eaching other
and calling for their
shop assistants to look.
and they start laughing and shouting
instructions at me.

"girl ah! yong li yi tian!!!" ( Use more force)

'ahhh.. tui!" (correct!)


and you know..
when the shutters start going up...
they make this horrid rolling sound,
and it hits the top with a loud bang.

haha.
i suspect thats when they look at my face and laugh the loudests.
cause i my eyes wont stop blinking
and when it crashes,
i sort of flinch and scrunch my face up.
hahaha.
sorry.
cant help it.


but they are quite nice.
cause when they see me struggling for too long.
(on bad days, it happens.)
they'll come over to help me.
i really hate that particular part of my job.
and the worst part is that, my shop is like
right next to bata.
and they installed this automatic rolling shutter.
so all the person has to do it like hit hit this button of something,
and it will just roll up smoothly.
no sweat.

and all i can do everyday is to just
eat my heart out in envy everytime
she happens to open then shop the same time as i.
arghhhhhhh.

i feel like telling my boss to invest in a automatic shutter.
but he'll probably just call me lazy.
haha.
nevermind
i'm stopping in like one day.
hahha.
nasty, noisy, scary metal shutters arent gonna be my problem anymore.


anyway.
hopefully, my boss will let me leave earlier today.
maybe at 530?
so that i can go for the rccl fundraising car wash.
but i doubt so.
cause even though he can be quite nice about other stuff,
he's rather anal when it comes to having off days and leaving early.
i figured that, since i have had no off day since i started working?
yupp.


when you hear the word carwash, what is the first image that comes into your mind?
know what mine is?
haha.
like girls in nothing but bikinis and white shirts that turn translucent
when they start spraying each other with the host
and all.
haha.
and everything is in slow motion and they are all giggling and bouncing around.
hahaha.
so R rated right?
my sick mind.
i think its cause i've watched too many lame teenage movies.
haha.

oh kayy.
thats all.
i shant bore you with anymore light talk.

i really want the two pathetic primary 4 boys
who are sharing one com to stop and go away.
they are the only customers in the shop and they
pose as my only obstacle from flipping the "open" sign to "closed"
and locking the shop up to buy
food to appease my growling stomach.

please.
go home and study.
PSLE is coming.
its a crucial examination.
dont waste your time playing maple story.

sighh.
toodles.

okayy.
im here to blog again.
since i figured that i wont be going online again for like awhile.
haha.
might as well make up for it with 2 posts.

plus, i just remembered a funny incident.

hahaha.

you see.
at where i work, there's this little altar thing.
with joss sticks and all.
and food for the deity.
and the first time i came in the morning.
it was just me.
and so i was just sitting there.
using the com.
and then this lady came with a cup of black coffee.
and she said it was ordered for us.
"us" i presumed it was for the guy whose shift i was taking over.

well.
and since he had already left,
i had to pay for it.
well.
it was just like 70cents.
and i dont really drink black coffee.
like ewww.
makes me dizzy.
but i figured since i'd paid for it.
might as well drink it.

so i just forced myself to finish it.
good stuff.
strong.
kept me awake.

and then about in the afternoon.
that guy came back.
haha.
and he went to the altar.
and looked at another cup of black coffee
that was there.
i didnt notice it at first.

den he was like.
in chinese.

"The lady came to change the coffee already ah?"

hahahaha.
so i just paused for awhile and looked at the empty cup of coffee
that was sitting infront of me.
and i was like shit.
haha.

"Err. Ya. She changed the coffee already."

hahahaha.
like wtf right.
i drank the coffee that was supposed
to be for the Gods.
like how was i supposed to know that Gods accepted coffee as offerings!

Then the guy (he didnt know i wasnt buddist)
knelt down at the altar
and started lighting fresh joss sticks.
and he started explaining that like they have to pray to that God every morning.
Give him coffee.
so he wont be angry and will bless them with good business and all.

and i was like Ooops.

but of course i was like nodding and pretending to be understanding and all innocent.
he'd flip if he knew i drank the fresh coffee
and that the God was still drinking the stale one.
hahaha.

well.
it'll just be our little secret.
okayy.
thats all.
my aching back is totally killing me.
arghhhhhhhhhh.
bye.

oh look.
wow.
i'm here again.

you know how its like?
like when you encounter so many interesting things
and you say to yourself,
"Oh yes. i must remember to blog about it."
and then when you finally sit down to blog,
you just cant remember shit.
haha.
ya.
its like that now.

well.
thankfully, something happened just this morning,
so i still have it fresh in my mind.

you know when i was walking past the curved block?
the one where vanesa stays in?
ya.
theres this alzheimer's centre thing right?
for old people.
(for those who live around that area)
remember there used to be this old lady
who would sit at the last window, and just stare out of it?
she would be holding a baby doll in her arms, and she could sit there for hours.
well, we all know she's like slightly "wooohooo" in the head.
anyway.
whenever i walked past, i would always make it a point to
smile at her.
even though her reactions varies on certain days.
sometimes
she would smile back, and its damn cute.
but sometimes she'll just stare at me like i'm crazy.

but after awhile, i didnt see her anymore.
she stopped appearing at the window.
and sometimes i try to peer through the
gap in the curtains, hoping to spot her, but i dont anymore.

and so.
this morning when i walked past the centre.
(walking really slowly, trying to look at my hair in the reflection)
i saw the one curtain wqs drawn up.
and there was thins caretaker lady who was chatting with the old
ladies who were doing their exercises.
and after i walked like 50 steps.
i stopped and turned back.

this was how the conversation went.

"Err, hi. I was just wondering, there used to be this old lady who
sits at the last window. and she's always just like.. looking out?"

(caretaker looks at me suspiciously)

"Yes........ why? what about her?"

" Err ya..I dont see her anymore, what happened to her?"

"Oh. She's not coming anymore, " (brief pause)

(and guess what i was thinking at that moment, haha. *funeral songs start playing in my head)
(i think she saw my expression, that why she continued.)

"She's gone home. Got better. Doesnt have to come here anymore. why ah?"

i give a weak laugh.

"oh. no la. cause i walk pass here quite often, and i always see her. then i'll just smile at her.So i was wondering how come i dont see her anymore. haha.. i thought.... .... "

And so i realised i was saying the wrong thing... haha. so i just gave this forced, fake smile and quickly scrammed.
haha.

and so finally.
i solved the mystery of the missing window lady.
it was sort of annoying to keep guessing.
and you'll never be sure with old people.
its like they are proned to sort of croak anytime.

so.. sk, angie, connie.. ryl, vann and even grace.
all the toapayoh frequeners.
i've solved this mystery.
(just in case you'all where wondering. which i dont think so.
since i'm the only one apt to such abnormal behaviour in such circumstances.)

yupp.

hmmm.
what else was i supposed to blog about?
hey.
theres a another steamboat buffet at angmokio.
$13++
we should go try it out.
fatmama really let us down the last time.


sk has been damn good.
she's been popping by my workplace to visit me.
even though school ends at like 5 or what. she still comes.
buys me food summore.
haha.
one thing though.
she has this sick perverted thing going on.
haha. like

my phone rings, and i answer.
"Hello? sukkian. where are you."

"at home lor."

"Ya, why you call me?"

"Orhh, no la. Just bored at home, nothing to do. where are you?"

"ME? At work la. Damn sian"

"orhh. haha. okayy. then i talk to you later la."

"Huh.. orh okayy... what you doing at home...."

(Den i try to keep her talking longer, cause after all, work is boring and she's bored at home.)

"eh, i talk to you later la. kayy ah... bye."

haha. and like 5 mins later. she strolls into my shop
with a big grin on her face.

sick right?
haha. this is not like the first time.
sometimes she tells me she'll be coming over today.
den in the afternoon.
she suddenly msges me and says

"Hey Bp. i cant come today. My mother just called. sorry i ps you yet again."

and i'm like wtf.
haha.
then before i can start gathering all my grieviances,
and start thinking nasty thoughts towards her for not keeping her word,
she appears again.
haha.
is that not the sickest thing or what. haha.
sk.. you need to seek proffessional help.
it appears you get some form of warpped kick
from doing this to people.
haha.


but i love you all the same.
your occassional dropbys do really
make my day.
you know that dont you?



okayyy....
thats it...
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

SARA TEO MT.
240590
gemini
F-5 :)



singing in the bathroom
romance novels! :)
shopping or window shopping
F7 FAMILY <3
BP
SGB
hubby :D
orlando bloom
nichlas tse
WU JUN! HAHA






angie.
bryant.
brenda.
charlene.
cheryl.
connie.
dianne.
emili.
gwen.
germaine.
jill.
joan.
karen.
LOVEER<3.
mel.
nat.
nicole.
rhian.
sam.t
sukkian.
vanesa.
yin.ting
yowie.



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