okay!
here i am.
its been my third day in tan tock seng hospital.
up to this stage.
its all been pretty OVERWHELMING.
and just so you know,
my attachment didnt start out smoothly at all.
really.
i like got into trouble like on my first day.
seriously.
you see, i couldnt find time during the hols to get my
hepititis B immunization jab.
and so when they asked if there was anyone
who hadnt gotten their jab, i really wanted to
just go ahead and lie.
i mean, its not like they'll know.
but then, one of the lecturers' had to go on and on about
integrity and being honest and stuff.
and i couldnt bear it,
so i raised my hand.
haha.
and thats when shit started to hit the fan.
there was this big hullaballu.
and questions like
"of all people, with your mum in the healthcare profession, i expected you to understand the importance of getting a jab."
and they would ask me for a reason why i didnt get it.
and as expected, their reply to my reason would be
"Thats no excuse."
haha.
like why did i even bother.
anyways.
there was this big fuss about it.
and they said they couldnt take the risk
of me being around the patient and getting hep b and all.
and so they like sent me home
like an hour early to get the jab.
and i had to write some letter
declaring that i wouldnt hold the hospital and school
responsible for my actions.
it really wasnt worth the trouble .
i should have just gotten the bloody jab.
damn.
and if you think that was not bad enough.
they next day,
even though i got up early and all to go to work,
i only realised that i left my name tag at home
when i was at the mrt statiion
and i had to
ran all the way home to get it.
which resulted in me reaching the ward at like
7 on the dot.
when technically, we were supposed to reach at like 6 plus
to be in time for the morning reports.
and i got caught by my lecturer for like being
not late, but " just on time".
(funny huh?)
and she even caught me for my
dark purple scrunchie.
which i had thought was black in the dark.
and she really gave it to me.
omg.
it was like a really really bad start.
i really cant imagine it being any worse than this already.
so much for trying to maintain a pristine reputation
in school, only to have soiled beyond recognition
by my second day.
i can just shoot myself.
and on the second day.
i was already wipeing poop off the floor.
like really.
but suprisingly, i didnt really mind that.
i mean, its sort of in the job description.
know what.
i think i change my mind about marrying a doctor.
sure, they look cool and the whole
lifesaving thing is hot.
but.....
i observed a maunal bladder washout today.
performed by a doctor.
and i just hated the way he
performed the whole procedure.
it was such a painful process to begin with.
and the patient was really groaning in pain.
but the doctor didnt even bother to speak to the patient.
much less reassure him.
in fact,
he just made the situation worse
when he kept going 'tsk'
when things didnt go smoothly.
and the poor patient was in his 70's? 80's?
it was just a really helpless situation.
you know?
like you're just a nobody.
and theres nothing you can do for the patient
who's in pain other than
hold his hand
and try to comfort him in a language that he doesnt even understand.
you feel really useless.
and its quite a horrible feeling.
i think at one point of the procedure.
i was glaring at the doctor.
i think i just couldnt help it.
and, cause i'm like really new and all.
theres not much i know in th ward.
like where everything is kept
and all the names of the equipment.
and when the doctor ordered me to get it.
i was like huh?
and he got so frustrated with the wait
that he just got it himself.
and let me tell you.
that has to be one of the worse feelings in the world.
and i get it all the time
from doctors, to nurses.
i suppose i can take comfort from the fact that i'm not
the only fish,
floundering in the open ocean.
but its just been really discouraging at times.
i even get corrected by the hospital amahs.
ya.
the cleaners.
there happens to be a food chain hierachy in the ward.
and i'm at the bottom if it.
but i'm not giving up though.
theres no way.
tomorrow,
poop can land on my face for all i care.
but i'm not giving up.
i' m gonna stick to the nurses like glue.
and suck everything i can learn from them.
even if they are nasty to me.
yupp.
thats all.
its been a really long post,
but i just need to unload, you know?
i saw an old man get discharged today.
holding his small bundle of things
happily hobbling towards the wrong exit.
haha.
he was in my cubicle, and under my care for the past 2 days.
and before he left,
he waved and smiled at me.
i swear.
that made my day.