Mondays.
Another stretch of 5 endless days,
that bleed you so dry,
that weekends literally feel like you've died and gone to heaven.
Thats when you realise it sunday night,
and you're back on the wheel of reincarnation.
but whatever.
its really not so bad.
anyways.
i have been having a really nasty bout of
insomnia recently.
like, its so bad, that i actually cant even take afternoons
naps on a drowsy, sleepy sunday afternoon.
which by the way, is the mother of all days to take afternoon naps.
and the simple joy of it has been taken away from me.
not to mention the involuntary wide eyed night vigils.
i really hate those.
and i have no idea why i cant sleep.
Rationally, i'm reasonably carefree now.
No exams, no social problems.
work is exhausting, true, but not dreadful.
Everything is fine.
so like what the fuck.
i told my mum about it.
and i asked her if she could get me sleeping pills.
i knew i shouldnt have said that.
cause it resulted in a verbal avalanche from my mother that went something like that:
"How many times have i told you that sleeping pills
open doors to many other problems that are far worst that not being abled to sleep."
"I've had insomnia for so many years already and yet you dont see me taking sleeping pills."
(At this point i'm thinking about all the 6 hour day naps she takes on her off days, but decide to keep my mouth shut.)
"Ever since i had your sister, i have had trouble sleeping."
(Hmmm. 7 years. Simple calculation. Was tempted to point out the fact having SEVEN YEARS of insomnia could not longer be called insomnia, but A WAY OF LIFE.but i kept my mouth shut.)
At this point, i think she realises that she's not really raising my interest, and tries to get my attention by using the "Envy Approach".
"I work in a Psychiatric ward, and i know so many doctors. I can have all the sleeping pills i want...."
(Here i'm thinking, just get to the point,.... and she does... ...)
"But instead, i'm looking into Traditonal Medicine. (Taaa dahhh) I just went to a Sin Seh yesterday, and the minute i walked in, i knew she was skilled."
She goes on enthusiasthically about her beloved chinese medicine.
"That lady took one look at me, and told me that i was having hormonal imbalance."
(For one moment, i almost had no wisecrack ready in my head. Then i recovered and thought that the day i walk into a clinic and some one can diagnose that i have hormonal inbalance by just looking at my face. I'd kill myself.)
I seriously cant believe my mum admires chinese medicine so much that she totally took no offense at that comment.
Its like having a Slimming brouchure waved in your face.
Like hello Mother! That bitch just insulted you while hiding behind a medical facade. Doesnt that bother you?
And this whole conversation took place while we were walking home from ntuc, with me lugging the bloody heavy marketing trolley behind me, and my mum carrying the featherlite cereals and cupnoodles. and of course my dear father, who carried the most,
his very own handphone and wallet.
Being hot, sweaty, insomniaic and sulky about having been denied access to sleeping pills, i was in a understandably mean mood and wanted to aggreviate my mother.
Allow me the pleasure in showing you how i did it.
(I threw the inccident, - about my nasty case of ezcema which didnt go away despites 2 trips to a recently opened chinese medicine clinic, which charged outrageous prices for revolting tasting sachets of grinded grass and insect cocoons, yes, insect cocoons, which i mixed in hot water and drank, but did a fat lot of good so we turned to the Western Doctor who gave me steriods, and made the ezcema clear like magic(okayy, its not all gone, but much better) - back into her face.)
"Ya please. Skillful. Like the bloody shit chinese doctor you made me see for my eczema.Make me drink that shit for nothing. Damn skillful sia.Give me Doctor Lee Wee any day, at least he's cute."
(Reminded of this episode, my mum gets slightly embarassed, but hides it well in an attempt to draw me back onto the chinese side.)
"Yes, i agree. Now we know that doctor is a quack la. We wont know until we try mah."
(ya, try on me.thanks ah.)
"Anyway, now i'm going to continue seeing that lady lor. You know she's that kind that one look and you get the feeling that she's damn good at what she does lor."
And to really irritate her, i gave a loud snort. Of the disbelieving variety.
In which she turns desperate and began using cheap underhand tactics like........
"I dont know why, i'm feeling so tired and sleepy. so stoned. I really have to go home and sleep. i think its the chinese medicine i took, but i told the lady not to give me sedatives what. Dont know why..."
See?
Notice she tried to entice me with the hidden promise of sedatives?
Talk about desperate right?
har!
I'M TOO SMART FOR THAT MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MUAHAHAHA.
I think this post has gone on long enough.
the point is that,
chinese medicine is a waste of time,
and its only good for loser sicknesses
like flu and migranes.
for the real shit dieseases like
cancer and dengue and SARS ,
we all know that everyone turns to Western Medicine.
HA!
TAKE THAT!
But anyway.
Despite having never ending tug of war,
unreasonable debate sessions with my mum,
she's still the best mummy ever.
And she taught me how to cook beef stew that day.
:)
which i think i promptly forgot how to cook, the day after.
but , point is,
Our alienish mother-daughter relationship is rather nice.
you think?