you always react like this.
no matter how i try to make this better.
it never even occured to you that you didnt confirm anything with me.its always "see how" or "maybe later".If you would confirm something with me for once, than maybe you wont have to blame me later for making other plans.and i've told you so many times,
no one can replace you.
and yet i find that i have to keep apologising for every single damn thing.
i'm sure i have been a bad friend, because i know you need me, and it seems like i'm not
around to spend time with you alone, like how we used to.
but you dont give me chance to try.
everytime i open my mouth you shoot me down.
i have so many things to tell you,.
stuff that only you can understand, and help me sort out.
but you choose to blame me for ditching you every time.
and i always have to try and apologise.
when was the last time you said sorry for anything?
or maybe you dont ever have to.
cause i'm always in the wrong.
i'm just not good enough.
i dont bother trying.
i'm always the first to ask about you before any event.
"where is she?"
"did you call her"
"is she coming?"
but i guess you're not around to hear it.
you make me afraid to ask you out now.
because whenever i do, i earn a sarcastic reply before anything.
i just cant please you, and everything i do pisses you off.
and you.
do i really behave like such a monster that you have to resort to
warding your friends away just to please me?
am i really such a tyrant?
i told you so many times already.
that the last thing i want you to do is to cut of your friends just because i haven learnt to control my emotions.
i told you i was trying, learning.
why couldnt you wait for me.
do you have any idea how much it hurts to hear what you told her?
how it makes me look?
what if she really needed someone to talk to and you werent around because "i'd get angry."
you think i'd truly want that?
you really think i'm that sort of selfish person?
i know you were only trying to prevent problems.
and i know you were just thinking of me when you did it.
but i wish you understood me better.
but you dont.
and it hard to say if you ever will.
i'm turning into something that i've always scorned when i saw it in others.
if i need to make this stop,
i will.